Mary Ann Shirk (Hribar)

Hello Fellow Classmates,

Boy. it has been a long time since I've posted. Dan's comment about sheltering at home with a puppy made me want to post. My world started falling apart 10 years ago. it was slow at first. My husband started preferring to stay home, had difficulty walking, fell a lot, and started losing his ability to multitask. About 5 years ago things started getting much more serious. After many neurologiats and a long hospital stay, he was diagnosed with multi system atrophy. His blood pressure issues have prevented him from walking. He is now in advanced parkinson's psychosis. He has been in a care facility for almost a year. Up until the current not visiting situation, I spent all day with him seven days a week. He was such a bright, caring, gentle person. He is now completely delusional. He think I am stealing his money, cheating on him, and trying to hurt him. He yells, hits and kicks me and the staff.  It breaks my heart to see him so misreable. Now that I am sheltering alone, I realize that the residents, families and staff at the facility were my support group. As unsure of myself as I am socially. I need to be with people. There were two things Bob didn't ever want- an atm card and a dog.  I have the atm card now but haven't yet gotten the dog  I would love a medium sized doodle type dog, but they are way too expensive.  I check shelters all the time. They have a lot of pit bulls and larger dogs. My kids tell me now is not the time and that a dog would upset my cat.  Oh well, some day. The point of my post is not to complain. No one gets a free pass in life. The point is to tell Dan that I am so happy he at least has the company of a dog. I was raised with dogs and always told Bob that dogs are very different than cats.

I hope everyone stays well. God bless all of you.

Mary Ann

Mike Young

Marida, have a terrific birthday, I recall going into my first class at Shrine (Latin) and you were the first person to smile at me, a fine welcome.  I hope you are doing well and you and Lewis should consider coming out to our Reunion/golf outing this August.  You needn't be a golfer, you can socialize, we'd love to see you.  Berserkly isn't that far.

Happy birthday, Mary Jo, a wonderful addition to any event.  You treat everyone so nicely.  Looking forward to seeing you and Bill in August.  Perhaps we can have a post round confab again.

Lucia, you look like you're trying out for as part in "Mash", but we'd all recognize you, even behind that mask.

Scottie, hockey is tough.  In gymnastics no one is trying to knock you off the balance beam.  But hockey is played knowing that collisions are inevitable whereas, when you're you and talented, thinking you're bullet proof, you can attack gymnastics with abandon.  I'm sure your granddaughter is just itching to get back on the mat doing her floor exercises.

Mary Ann, My heart goes out to you.  It is difficult to see someone we love transform into someone we don't recognize and who is frustrated to the point of anger.  It is especially trying when they become belligerent and direct some of their anger at you.  You were blessed with many wonderful years having Bob as such a terrific, loving partner - I hope you can cling to those memories.  You have always had such vitality and enthusiasm, drawing on that can help keep one's heart on straight.  Ona another topic -  Cats may or may not tolerate dogs but no more nor less than they tolerate us humans.  Dogs have empathy while cats don't even have sympathy. I've never heard of a Leader Cat for the Blind, nor a Therapy Cat.  Are your granddaughters dancers like their grandmother and moms?  If you want some socializing we'd love to have you join us this August for our annual reunion/golf outing.  You needn't play golf, you can come out and socialize (Or cheerlead!!).  

Stay safe, everyone and have a Merry Unbirthday.

Janet Flick (Stickel)

Mary Ann,

My heart is saddened to hear about your husband Bob's long term illness.  Through no fault of his own you both are suffering from this terrible disease.   I am very glad you reached out to us.  I hope it gives you some relief to have described your situation and to have expressed your feelings.  I find that this lovely group of classmates we share is good, kind and supportive.  We are here for you in any way we can.  I'm sure many of us will be praying for you and Bob.

I agree with Mike's well expressed thoughts.  It would be wonderful to see you at our Golf get together on August 22.  I would love to meet you anytime - once it is safe - for coffee, lunch ot whatever.  It might be a pleasant distraction. 

Rick Fournier

Pat Diggles

To all,

Thanks for the birthday wises!  As I mentioned in earlier visits, I don't visit this site often enough!....and I thoroughly enjoy the friendship and comments between all of you who participate.  Things are just fine in Maine!  Spring has sprung!...the golf courses are opening!...the flowers are blooming!...The kids and grandkids aree healthy!...and we're all hunkered down waiting for the corona virus to lift!

I throughly enjoy your give and take on this sight!  I have always had found memories of my years at Shrine, and all of you make this website an enjoyable visit with many grins and great memories.  Peace be with all of you, and thanks for the enjoyable trips through yesteryears!  If any of you are coming out this way let me know.  Your welcome anytime!

Peace!

Pat Diggles

303-345-3715

Mike Young

Pat, good to hear from you, don't be a stranger.  I hope that all is well in Maine and that most of the snow has melted.

Scotty, we all trust that your dynamo gymnast is well on her way to recovery.

Mary Anne, have you gotten that dog yet?  There are somethings in life that it is never the "right time" for and others that anytime is the right time.  There is nothing like a good pet, especially a dog.  They are always so glad to welcome us home even if we've only been out for a short time.  We wish you all the best - you are one of the sunshine people. 

Janet, your kindness, insight, compassion and consideration are wonderful and we are blessed to have them shared with us.

Dan, has that puppy gotten you trained yet?

Dan Janness

Mary Ann my heart goes out to you and what you are going through now. When my wife passed away she was gone in fifteen minutes, I am torn when I hear what you are going through and what others in similar situations are going through. I never had time to say good bye to wife, I can only say cherish all the good times and maybe you will be blessed if your husband remembers some of those times when you are with him. I see that you are interested in a dog, I have in the past raised Golden Retrievers, I did all the training and was very successful, my second Golden would sit outside a store and wait while I went in for purchases. I now have a yellow lab that i am traing from the Rochester Leader Dog School.He is the most beautiful Yellow Lab I have ever seen, he is 5 months old, however I think he came from a dog sled training set of parents. He is an Alpha Male and at 5 months old could very well be the leader of a dog sled team. I am supposed to teach him loose leash walking, to do so I had to get him a special gentle lead collar for him since he was constantly pulling my arm out of joint, he is doing much better with the gentle lead, however this virus has set our trainng back by months. Two months ago Max and I went everywhere together bowling alleys, restraurants, shopping malls, the library everywhere, now we are confined to the house and our daily walks. I mentioned he is the Alpha Male, early on his training was working, now that he can't get out and do the things we were doing he doen't understand . He just wants to be on the go all day long I have no breaks, he gets into everything, my house is turned updide down, everything is out of reach. He follows me everywhere, i probably step on him 4-5 times a day. I know one thing for sure i will really miss him when his training is finished and I have to turn him back in. I will also sleep for 24 hours straight. Mary Ann puppies are great, so much fun I would always reccommend retievers or labs, they are so good with children, but they are a lot of work. I would also reccommend going back to shelters, I hear that a lot of people can't afford there pets anymore and are turning them in. Good Luck with your venture if you decide to go for it, and bless you for what you are going through.

Mary Ann Shirk (Hribar)

 Day 56 of the shelter at home. I hope everyone is still healthy. Thank you Mike, Janet, Rick, and Dan for all your kind words, thoughts,and prayers. No, Dan, I have made no progress in getting a dog. I really don't go out much at all. My age, the stress of the last year, and my RA make me high risk. At least that's what my kids think. I do agree that labs make great pets. Two of my girls have had them, and I loved them dearly. I'm looking for something a little smaller and easier to handle. Not a purse dog but a medium sized one. There were two Jack Russell terriers on one site yesterday. They were adorable, named Max and Marley. But they were off the site right away. A friend of mine has an adorable, friendly Cavalier King Charles doodle. She keeps telling me she is on the look out for me. 

i  have gotten close to many of Bob's friends that I hardly knew before. They visited often and now call me to check on him and me. One of them is a judge in his 90's who is still working as a substitute judge. He has told me many times that his doctor told him in the older years a heart attack is your friend. I'm sure you would disagree Dan . But I know what he means. The long goodbye is difficult. When we could still visit, several of his friends would take me out to lunch. They worried that I wasn't taking care of myself. It was always nice to laugh for a few minutes. 

Janet, when this is over I would love to meet for coffee or something. Yesterday I met my daughter to pick up my grandson for the day.  She brought me a Starbuck's coffee. What a treat. Both the coffee and having my grandson for a day.

Tom Scott

Lorrie Olesak (Bookbinder)

Hi Maryanne ... read your post and will always remember you in my prayers ... I too experienced this same scenario with my husband, but, was truly lucky ... he continued to think I was the greatest thing since French toast til the end ... it depends on the patient ... when my dad was suffering from this, he punched me SO hard in the stomach one day that I could barely breath (the insult broke my heart, but knowledge gave me more love for him because I figured he just wanted me to somehow get him out of this horrible situation he was in, he was fighting for some independence) .... I truly wish I could have given him that ... these reactions from them have nothing to do with love or lack of it, and everything to do with their mindset and tremendous frustration as they try to deal with their situation (which, of course, they have absolutely no control over) ... what it came down to was arguing with him ... and low and behold, the argument is what worked ... he was looking for a fight ... so I gave him one ... that’s what worked for me ... I have no idea what will work for you ... it will have nothing to do with you, and only the mindset of your loved one ... I had given in to the fact that these people are sometimes so frustrated that no amount of medication or therapy will help ... it’s a situation without intelligence, and a relationship that no longer can be understood ... if he wants a fight, give him one ... if he wants a hug, negotiate ??? ... that’s a little joke, and a great big hint ... on any given day, there’s no way into that mindset ... the fact that he “fights” with you means he knows that you love him and wants you to see him free ... there’s no dislike or hate involved ... only his trust that you are his only strength ... the truth is, the situation is what God has dictated ... your husband loves you and God loves you ... remember these things when you say your prayers at night, and that God will help you with this ... much love ... L

Tom O'Brien

Happy Birthday to smiley Mary Lou.

All the years at Shrine, how did you continue to have that great smile on your face?

Those were the days of love and fun. you were always a bright light every day.

I hope you and your family are having a safe and happy day and days at home.

Enjoy your day and many more to come. Be sure to enjoy your cake and ice cream too.

Tom O'Brien

Mary Ann,

So sorry to hear about your husband. I know how it is when a loved one needs help and that's what we are here for. Thank God our daughters MS is bad but she has a sharp mind and we love her. when a family member has a disability it affects the whole family.

All the class of 63 are in my daily prayers and some more than others.

Stay safe, happy, upbeat and holy. God gives us the strenght to make it through.

In your puppy search, we are on out third sheltie. We have had one female and two males, They are very loving happy, extremely smart dogs. Our Kenzie is about 80% indoors dog. He sleeps in his crate in our daughters room for his 1:15 to 3:00 daily nap and in there all night. He is 35 pounds of love and kisses and loves being petted.

Prayers and love for you.

.

Mike Young

Lorrie, your insight is wonderful and you express yourself and your compassion so well.  It is difficult for most of us to fathom the depths of frustration, fear and confusion that some of our loved ones experience.  Mary Anne, frustration does lead to aggression and, as Lorrie indicated, frustrated people express their frustrations to, and oftentimes on, those with whom they feel most secure.  They know that we are going to continue loving them.  I hope that it helps you to know that our hearts go out to you in this time of crisis and confusion.  Dan, Janet, Tom, Lorrie, etc.  have expressed what so many of us feel  for you.  That's a strong support group. that we are all blessed with.

On another note - Happy Birthday, Mary Lou.  Tom hit the bulls eye in reference to your constantly smiling face.  You could have been the inspiration to the "Smile" icon we all see.  And you're a birdie machine on the golf course, too.  Looking forward to seeing you and everyone else who shows up this August.

Lucia Lenhard (Johnson)

Inspiring to read our classmates’ messages of support and compassion to one and other.

I know there are lots of “dog people” now, and I think there are lots of readers as well, so I would like to recommend one of my favorite books. “The Story of Edgar Sawtell”. If anyone is interested you could post your comments on this site. And for Mary Ann, all best energy your way and please don’t be tempted by a Jack Russell. Great dogs for the young and strong of body and patience but full of muscle and attitude. They are the “terriest” of terriers.  Highly recommend the MUTT. 

Would  like to acknowledge and thank Tom O, Arlene, Lorrie, Janet, Dave U., and Jean for contributing in a moola manner to the support of the web site. Funny, it came out very close to the mark. As I am fond of saying, it all works out.  

Frost on the pumpkin, ok - but really, snow on the daffodils? 🌼🌼🌼

Tom Scott

Tom O'Brien

I second Tom's message.

Happy Mothers Day to all the Moms and Mothers out there. Hope your day and night is filled with pleasentness, love and freinds and family.

If possible, sneak in a little cake and two scoops of ice cream.

Here, I am preparing chocolate moulton lave cake for dessert.

Glad to see the Tom's have it

Mike Young

The Toms have it - Happy Mothers day, Ladies!!  Have cake any day, after all, you're special everyday not just on Mothers Day.

Arlene Vachon (Forrester)

Thank you, guys, for the Mother's Day wishes.  It was certainly a different (and lonely) one this year.  I'm just thankful that my family members are all well.  That is the best Mother's Day gift I could wish for.

Mike Young

Happy Birthday, Mary Blanche, I hope that, not just your day, but the year, is all you want it to be.  I'm looking forward to seeing you on the fairways this August. 

Tom Scott

Tom O'Brien

Happy Birthday Mary Blanche, Sorry for being late but i hope you had a great day. I know, I know, every day is great, but this is special. Just a few years ago you graced the world with your light and we all got to enjoy it.

Best for the coming years and make darn sure your cake never runs out.

Arlene Vachon (Forrester)

I guess I missed the notice about Mary Blanche's birthday, but I sure want to recognize another member hitting the 75-year mark!  I can hardly believe that we are there!  Happy Birthday, Blanche.  May your year be filled with love and good health.

Speaking of good health, if anyone could offer up a few prayers for my husband, Doug, I would greatly appreciate it.  I'm sure everyone knows he has Alzheimer's, but on Monday, he had a series of mini strokes that left his right side very weak.  One of his greatest gifts from God is his piano playing ability.  With his right side weak, I'm praying therapy will strengthen his right hand again.  If he loses the ability to play piano, he will lose his reason for living.  I pray God won't take His gift away!

Kathy Chaivre (Brown)

Arlene, I am so sorry to hear about your husbands mini strokes.  I know from your other posts how much he enjoyed playing the piano and how he was so happy to share his gift with others.  My prayers for his recovery and also for your continued strength.  ❤️ 

Tom O'Brien

Arlene,

Sorry to hear about your husbands bad day. The class of 63 is in my daily prayers and there will be some extras said now for you, Mary Ann and all others needed.

Keep your spirits up and soon we'll hear the chopsticks playing.

Take Care.

Lucia Lenhard (Johnson)